The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger.
In all our trials born to be our friend.
~ O Holy Night
My daughter is currently wading through the precarious friendship years of middle school. Each month is new with whose in and whose out. Like a train on the move, making stops along the way, someone steps on and another steps off. There are tears of self-doubt some days and other days are full of BFF-induced elation. Middle school.
The truth is, friendship is fickle all through life. Of course, to some degree it settles out of the highs and lows as we ease into adulthood. In theory, with maturity comes less delicate feelings. And it sometimes works out that way. It also can go other ways. We are, after all, weak and feeble sinners with brittle ego's. We're human - with different childhood experiences and time-sensitive stresses that weigh us down. With all that baggage we're bound to misunderstand our friends and let each other down.
But as hard as it can be, friendship is essential for life. And it's been on my mind over the last few months.
Over the summer I studied the book of John. Which admittedly is not my favourite gospel. Sorry - but lower your pitchforks. You'll be happy to know, deep-diving my least favourite gospel wasn't so bad and I was actually struck by something unexpected in this book.
Most of us know the book of John has one pretty obvious goal. And that is to prove to the reader that Jesus is God - He is fully divine and perfectly part of the triune Godhead. And John unabashedly drives that point home over and over again. Of course there are many other juicy themes, but this is the big one. And his case is strong, compelling and extremely important.
Yet as I studied the book the Spirit stirred something else in me. I was drawn in by a title of Christ I didn't intend to see in this particular gospel.
Christ - our friend.
Certainly we see Him model being a friend of sinners in every gospel, including John. And we read about the importance of good friendship all over the Bible in general. So its not a new concept. But there is only one place Jesus speaks of himself with that title and that's in John's gospel. I happily concede props to John for including this beautiful detail.
He says this to his disciples in 15:12-15:
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
Can you imagine what it would have felt like to be the disciples and to hear that kind of invitation? Jesus, not just as rabbi or leader but now as a friend? In our current structure of life, friend implies peer. It requires mutual affection and respect. It assumes regular day to day companionship. Give and take. It's a concept we all experience in life but it's not often thought about deeply.
It's kind of regular. It is so...human.
And as we live and breath today, that invitation is for us as well.
There is no question John's main goal in writing this gospel is to highlight the divinity of Christ, and yet this text reminds the reader He is also fully human. He can relate to us like a brother and friend. His desire is for an intimacy that comes with self-sacrificing love for one another. He did His part on the cross. He sacrificed it all for His friends - and everyone who would call on His name after. He modelled that kind of true friendship perfectly and He invites that same dedication and companionship from us today. With our earthly friends and also with Him.
This is why He came.
In a manger, among cattle, the lowly, homeless and fragile - born to be our friend. Born to make Himself fully and truly accessible as a companion. For anyone who would have Him.
We live in lonely and self-centred times. And friendship is complicated. Deeply held opinions and very busy schedules can keep us from good community with others. We play favourites and avoid the awkward ones or the needy ones or the ones that bring a lot of challenge with them. We're impatient and keep records of wrongs. We desperately need each other yet we let full calendars or bitterness or personal comforts keep us away.
Friendship is important but it's so human and wrought with disappointment. And sadly, due to sin, it will always be fragile.
But for Jesus.
Here is the promise of the gospel and the message of the whole Bible: In Jesus Christ, we are given a friend who will always enjoy rather than refuse our presence. This a companion whose embrace of us does not strengthen or weaken depending on how clean or unclean, how attractive or revolting, how faithful or fickle, we presently are. The friendliness of his heart for us subjective is as fixed and stable as is the declaration of his justification of us objectively.
Dane Ortlund - Gentle and Lowly
As John 1:14 says, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. There would be no tabernacle or temple needed. Full of grace and truth, the exact imprint of the Father - Jesus came to take up residence with His people.
God almighty put on skin and brought himself as low as He could into the belly of a young girl in a nothing town. He linked himself to nobodies with nothing. He was brought near. Status, education and beauty were and are irrelevant to His desire for our friendship. And He knows just how complex we are and how challenging the temptations of this world are. Because He came here and learned to walk and talk and work and live and die.
A full human experience.
Which means we have a perfect companion in Christ. He won't let us down. He won't get too busy or let bitterness take root. He will always be there when we need Him. He perfectly understands our plight, perfectly offers grace, perfectly calls us to righteousness.
Let's face it, in this relationship we have with Him, we are the needy friend. We're the awkward ones. We're the ones who don't hold up our end of the bargain. We don't call as much as we should and we don't follow through with our commitments. But unlike our earthly friendships, He holds nothing against us. He holds out His hand every time we return to Him. He is the only friend who won't disappoint.
In every lonely moment, He is Immanuel - God with us.
As you gaze upon the manger this Christmas and take in all the incarnational aspects of the season. As you spend time with friends and family, whether the dynamics are joyful or downright disappointing. Remember what a friend you have in Jesus.
A forever companion. A Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He is the King of Kings. He is the Lord of Lords.
And He is the Friend of Friends.
Jessica is married to, Central's Family Equipping Pastor, Chris Ross, and they have two children together. She loves writing about scripture and Christian culture and desires to teach others to live in the way of Christ.
You can find more of her writings on her website - HERE